Wednesday, April 16, 2003

On a high!

The 10th YFC-ILC was a blast! Up to this point, I'm still on a high praising the Lord and dancing wild while shouting praise songs. It was an extraordinary experience that on the last day, I cried in guilt of my sins and service. The talks were inspiring, the songs drove everyone wilder than the people on a rock concert, people were extra and super duper friendly, and over-all, it was one heck of a celebration. Imagine an arena in Clark Expo with 13,000 people around you, jumping up and down, raising up fists, chanting their respective regions...whew! It was a fun fun fun ride! The #yfc grand eb was really awesome that I met lots of new people. I actually developed the pics already and I'd be scanning it to show it to all of ya.

And after that ILC, finally....finally...I knew my call. God called me. HE REALLY did! He instructed me to be an active leader in YFC and to never quit inspite of the people around me who try and break my faith. I now understand why I underwent too many tests in life that strengthened me and placed me in a point I would want to give everything up and become weak. I now finally understand the reason why I am continuously being hunted down by the devil since I was a kid (when he manifested his horrible face). God called me to be active and to be great.

In the next years, I will institute YFC in Sacred Heart School and nothing will stop me. My faith is overlflowing and I am in great joy!

Finally...finally....I feel complete.

All I wish is that my mom will understand that I am doing it for God. I just hope you all will understand if I'm too busy chatting in #yfc...

I hope you all understand when I announce that I may be blogging very very rarely now.

I still wub ya all but I've got responsibilities to do.

I am even leading the arts team for the Youth camp and a team for an outing in YFC-South B 2-NCR.

I hope you all understand...

Wednesday, April 09, 2003

I'll be leaving tomorrow at 5:30 am so bye bye everyone and wish me luck in the YFC-ILC. I hope I'd meet new friends there. Well, actually, I would because I'd be meeting those I chat with in #yfc. Wee...

And speaking of leaving, I haven't packed my things yet and my cellphone's load is zero. :P

I actually got all the toiletries kicking with the additional Leave-on conditioner which I bought to tame my hair. :P It actually works. Hehe.

I also bought a pair of blue sunglasses so wipee!

ILC...Better watch out!

Sunday, April 06, 2003

I was humilated, shouted at and blamed for something I did not do. And here I am, trying not to cry and not to tell. If I would, I would be in big trouble and everything would be a huge mess. All I wish now is to go to a dark place, curse them though I hate to, cry my heart out, and return back the pain they left. They are hypocrites and sad to say, till I die, they'll still be there to see my wake.

Don't mind me. I just need to vent that out instead of crying without result.

Sunday, March 30, 2003

Hehehe...I've not blogged for so long. You see, I've been very much busy these days that my sleeping time adjusted from the normal 10pm-7am to 2am-12pm. Sucks eh? Youth for Christ would be taking much of my time in the next two months. I'd be travelling into different places so that will be extra fun fun fun. Hehe. Anyway, I pretty much enjoy what I'm doing so that'd be fine. Besides, I'm planning to serve the community till I breathe my last, probably. With 7 years in Kids for Christ, and 2 years in YFC, why would I not continue? The community opened me up into a world of good friends and great fun. Maybe, if I had not joined YFC, I would be probably dead of suicide. Oh, yes, I attempted once and I don't want to talk about it anymore. It was a horrible, horrible part of my past which somehow, helped others to realize that life is such an important gift.

I'm actually the creative team leader of our Cluster, proof of my active participation in the organization. You see...YFC is a worldwide organization of youths and on the 11th-13th of April, some 20,000 delagates from every part of the world will be coming for a reunion. Hehe...sounds fun eh? If I'm not mistakened, there are at least 3 million YFC's around the globe, me being one. Weee. And in that reunion, I shall be meeting lots of people, especially those I got acquainted to in #YFC hehe. I've been going there for the past two weeks and boy...people there are TOO friendly. Not too mention, cute pa...hehe. Kidding. And after the ILC, I shall be going to Antique for a week then back for the practices for the YFC Youth Camp then there comes the Camp, Summer Outing, lots of meetings and plannings and summer review.

Ack...of course I need summer review. I'm dying to enter Ateneo and grab the political science course. And Les is NOT going to change her mind being a lawyer inspite of all the discouragements. Errr...I could go to UP but though would like to, my educational plan calls for either Ateneo or Assumption so I've got no choice. Besides, Ateneo is one of the best Law schools around. No offense to Lasallians hehe.

And she's near! So I've got nothing to worry. :)

I actually toured UP and got a ride in the TOKI...hehe.

My mom actually talked about what I'd do next year over dinner nights ago and we agreed that since QC is far, I'd be living in a dorm. Quite scary, eh? But Ate Mai's near me so I'm glad. Hehe.

Oh...and the awaited group blog is UP and kicking. I actually worked hard on that layout. o.O

What do ya think?

Oh...and I'll dish out plugs later. For the meantime...

[x]Refe-chan! Dontcha worry, we would meet someday and that's a promise.
[x]Ate Sam! Yeah...thank you for the encouragement. And, it's not about the academic contests, it's the overall place in the honor roll.
[x]Ate Mai! I'll be looking forward to meet you! :D
[x]Boo! Yeah...thank you for believing in me though we haven't met yet. I wub ya!
[x]Leanne! Thanks..I'd do that.

I'm off...I've got to pray for somebody. Seeya.

Friday, March 14, 2003

New link: Ate Vanessa. She's got a cute, cute adoption site with lots of lil butterflies. Not to mention she also makes great layouts.

Arigatou Gozaimasu to everyone who commented and wished to taste my cooking. Nyahaha...one day, Mee, I'd go and fly to your place and stuff ya down wif burnt cookies. [No, I really don't bake good] Kidding. *Sigh* If only you people were my neighbors *pointies to everybody on her links*.

Well... yesterday, I had a lot of refelctions swirling in my head. Regrets, hopes, dreams, pains, realizations, sadness, emptiness and [insert nouns related to a day long contemplation] suddenly crashed when I learned that I got a place lower in the honor roll. It's actually not a big deal---I know---but the looks people have been giving me makes me want to cry. I would want to cry not because of failure on my part but failure for others. I have failed not my own expectations but the people around me who trusted that I would remain in where I used to belong. It's not like that, isn't it? Life's not in favor of me all the time, isn't it? I have long accepted--when I knew I had an inconsistency in my actions, MOST especially in the extra-curricular category---that I would not bag the silver award that's supposed to be pinned on me by my dad. My dad expects a lot and somehow, I feel down. I have felt the conspiracy of things right even when it was beginning---this year is NOT for me. I knew that. Problem is, why would people expect? I am no superwoman who can control time and luck. It just so happened that Paola's clubs had more activities than mine. It's God's will to give a prize to persons who HE knew worked hard for it. Pao did and I've got no vengeful feelings towards her. She deserves it. She worked hard. And my efforts were tiny compared to hers. I had done mistakes but that doesn't mean I reached the end, right? I know I've got one year. I know that God is testing me. I know HE is testing my faith for I easily fall down. And the knowledge of His plan was given to me beforehand. I had done all preparations and acceptance. Why can't people cooperate and feel happy than pity for me?

Next year, I would try my VERY best to succeed. It has been my dream to recieve an award that would make people smile for me. I would try and be more responsible---that's for sure. I won't give up this time, now that I've got a broken leg. I'd be a loser if I did, eh? I'm all set for Monday. I know that people would frown and I'd be an object of talks. God bless me, I hope. I know He would. I may be wounded, I may be weak but at this point but after thinking so hard and examining myself, I know that this made me a lot stronger. I don't consider this a failure but a blessing. If not for this, I would remain the lazy girl that I was.

Anyway, bronze is cute too, eh? Hehe.

Prepare June!